You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. ~Ray Bradbury~

30 September 2009

OCD, Much?

Ok, so I know it's not rational and maybe a little bit of a delay tactic, but I have to rant about my work space a little bit.

I don't know about anybody else, but I have this huge obsession with having a workspace that is just the way I like it or else I can't work. And the weird thing is, if my workspace at home is in order and perfect, I can take my computer most ANYWHERE and work just fine. But, if things are out of whack at home it throws me off completely. I can't focus on writing if there's clutter, mess, and/or chaos around me. It gets stuck in my mind and festers there like an old wound, blocking my flow and just plain screwing with my processes.

I guess this has a little to do with why I haven't been writing (Excuses, excuses). My living space looks like a bomb went off and left multipe casualties among the wreckage. It's way overwhelming and it just invades my brain and I just can't cope.

I know this is a lame excuse for not writing, but you really can't fault me for having an OCD brain, right?

I'll get it done. I will, I will.


29 September 2009

I Forgot How Hard It Is!

Putting ideas into actual outlines is stressful business, especially when you've got more than one to do and not a lot of free time to do it in.

I've got characters in my head fighting for attention while I'm trying to help a student with a math problem that I have no idea how to help her with because when was the last time I did long division in triple digits and she's getting mad at me and my supervisor is looking at me funny andI'm turning red as a beet while my head is pounding from all the noise and I have to drive home and then go back out to pick up potatoes from some guy as a fundraiser and I've gotta get some Avon orders so I am actually making money instead of just spending money that I don't have and the group home is calling to see if I can cover a shift and and and...

Kaity's head spins madly...and then explodes.

I can do this, right?


28 September 2009

Trudging Along

SO I've started piecing together one or two ideas from my massive notebook of random thoughts and ideas to try and come up with a NaNo piece for this year. I'm gonna do it and nothing, repeat NOTHING is gonna stand in my way. Not work, not sleep, not recurring illness, NOTHING.


I'm jumping around between two or three ideas right now, all three of completely different genres and all three equally good ideas, I think. I'll start hashing out details into outlines and choose from the three. I've got a whole month to choose. I can do this. I will not panic.


I have been heartened by reading all the new blogs about writers and their progress and it's building my courage. I can do this. So if anybody decides to read this from those blogs, thanks. I need all the help and support I can get.

So in the next month I get to work 3 jobs, work on book outlines, clean my apartment so it's presentable for company, prepare a birthday party, continue in my therapy programs, and maybe, possibly, somewhere in between I might find some time for eating and sleeping.

I can do this!

Yeah. Right.


25 September 2009

To Get Things Started

I want to write.

I have put off my writing for more than a year and it's time to get started. I am sick of procrastinating and putting things off forever and ever. Nothing will ever get done if I keep on like this. I will live forever in this miserable, unhappy state that I am in now.

I don't know if anyone will ever read this blog and I don't care. I suck at journalling and I want to see if I'm any better at blogging. This is my progress from here on as a writer.

I make a vow to myself that from this day forward I am going to turn things around, get things straight and just start writing!

So there. The end. Or maybe the beginning...