OCD, Much?

Ok, so I know it's not rational and maybe a little bit of a delay tactic, but I have to rant about my work space a little bit.

I don't know about anybody else, but I have this huge obsession with having a workspace that is just the way I like it or else I can't work. And the weird thing is, if my workspace at home is in order and perfect, I can take my computer most ANYWHERE and work just fine. But, if things are out of whack at home it throws me off completely. I can't focus on writing if there's clutter, mess, and/or chaos around me. It gets stuck in my mind and festers there like an old wound, blocking my flow and just plain screwing with my processes.

I guess this has a little to do with why I haven't been writing (Excuses, excuses). My living space looks like a bomb went off and left multipe casualties among the wreckage. It's way overwhelming and it just invades my brain and I just can't cope.

I know this is a lame excuse for not writing, but you really can't fault me for having an OCD brain, right?

I'll get it done. I will, I will.

~KK~

I Forgot How Hard It Is!

Putting ideas into actual outlines is stressful business, especially when you've got more than one to do and not a lot of free time to do it in.

I've got characters in my head fighting for attention while I'm trying to help a student with a math problem that I have no idea how to help her with because when was the last time I did long division in triple digits and she's getting mad at me and my supervisor is looking at me funny andI'm turning red as a beet while my head is pounding from all the noise and I have to drive home and then go back out to pick up potatoes from some guy as a fundraiser and I've gotta get some Avon orders so I am actually making money instead of just spending money that I don't have and the group home is calling to see if I can cover a shift and and and...

Kaity's head spins madly...and then explodes.

I can do this, right?

~KK~

Trudging Along

SO I've started piecing together one or two ideas from my massive notebook of random thoughts and ideas to try and come up with a NaNo piece for this year. I'm gonna do it and nothing, repeat NOTHING is gonna stand in my way. Not work, not sleep, not recurring illness, NOTHING.

I AM GOING TO START AND FINISH A NaNo PROJECT THIS YEAR.

I'm jumping around between two or three ideas right now, all three of completely different genres and all three equally good ideas, I think. I'll start hashing out details into outlines and choose from the three. I've got a whole month to choose. I can do this. I will not panic.

Suuuuuuure...

I have been heartened by reading all the new blogs about writers and their progress and it's building my courage. I can do this. So if anybody decides to read this from those blogs, thanks. I need all the help and support I can get.

So in the next month I get to work 3 jobs, work on book outlines, clean my apartment so it's presentable for company, prepare a birthday party, continue in my therapy programs, and maybe, possibly, somewhere in between I might find some time for eating and sleeping.

I can do this!

Yeah. Right.

~KK~

To Get Things Started

I want to write.

I have put off my writing for more than a year and it's time to get started. I am sick of procrastinating and putting things off forever and ever. Nothing will ever get done if I keep on like this. I will live forever in this miserable, unhappy state that I am in now.

I don't know if anyone will ever read this blog and I don't care. I suck at journalling and I want to see if I'm any better at blogging. This is my progress from here on as a writer.

I make a vow to myself that from this day forward I am going to turn things around, get things straight and just start writing!

So there. The end. Or maybe the beginning...

~KK~